The Fourth Ramble - Religious rumble

Hiiii i'm back from the church. the house of god.
and i learn 3 lessons today.
ibut first i met a really cute spontaneous pretty girl today!! wow cool dress sense. and filial to her mom. and she sits in front of me in the church.. hahahaha but that's beside the point..
really, i'm awash with friendliness and spirituality today.
this church-going experience is really a fresh and stimulating experience. but remind me on some of the lessons i have to further learn..

Forgive me if any righteous friends reading this post is offended by my light-hearted comments on these lessons on faith. Please do. i'm a greenhorn.

So to the lessons i have learn today:

1) "I'm a sinner."
The pastor nearly shouted in my face, "Yi Feng, are you a SINNER? Tell me."
This is a combination of the discussion i had with my senior nic and the pastor.
PASTOR: If you are going to die tomorrow, and Jesus ask you if you're going to heaven or hell, which will you be going. Its not that wow you came to the church today, so welcome to heaven.
NIC: NOOoo, you got to be spotless, in order to enter heaven.
ME: So dalmations and zebras can't go to heaven?
S I L E N C E
haha that's beside the point.
So yeah, i have sin terribly. But isn't that life?

FRIEND: Yes, he (me) has sinned terribly. He's one of the greatest sinners! He keeps beo-in girls.
PASTOR: No, i won'tgive him that title. I'm.

So yes, i have sinned by looking at that pretty girl sitting in front of me during church.
SINNER. First let me clarify. i'm not exactly a fan of people shouting "YOU'RE A SINNER. SINNER. SINNER. SINNER." in my face. tmd.

To think is to have done.
The act of hatred, "i hate XXXXX" is to have murder.
To think of touching a woman is to have already have sex with her.
To think of sleeping with a married woman is to have commit adultery. (PASTOR)
To think is to do.
All you masturbaters out there, YOU'RE SO DEAD, SINNER!! Haha, just a joke just a joke.
To think is to have done.
In this way, we easily accumulate mountains of sin in a single day.
How can we be spotless (in order to go heaven) then?
MY point, isn't this "to think is to have done" thing taking it a little too far?

I believe i'm no saint.
I have definitely sinned.
But i don't entirely agree with the concept.

One more thing, what about non-believers, i ask.
PASTOR: if you have not heard about the GOSPELS, then there's still another way of going to heaven. there's this concept of human conscience. (this i totally agree) if you ... (he ramble on and on about examples here but let me summ) abide by your conscience - the one law governing your life, then you will and can be spotless. God can forgive you and invite you to the realm of peace.
ME: But what if you have heard?
PASTOR: if you have heard and not give the word, then you go the other way. ... (from here on, he was a picture of erratic disbelief on why someone would not be a son of god believe in the religion take the faith) who, YI FENG, WHO WILL EVER SACRIFICE THAT MUCH FOR YOU? TELLL ME!! TELL ME! (agitation)
ME: err.. (you want me to say no one, except God, yeah but i shall keep quiet)

From here onwards, no offence to believers of faith.
I strongly believe i won't give the word join a fratenity subscribe to a school of thought, just because i want to escape hell and go heaven. or just because i want to remove the label of a sinner. that's so not my belief! i'm not going to be a hypocrite. No offence.
I firmly patted my heart and thought to myself while i was enjoying my ice-cream treat. that God or beliefs lies here.

i believe i'll embrace God one day. be it Chinese god. Muslim god. God. Indian God. or whichever. i refer to a faith. but first our ideals must be aligned.. i'm surely willing to compromise. but it musn't be too far-fetched.
and as proven today, i have been ushered to the other extreme which explains my hesistance.
after all, i believe its a matter of interpretation. INTERPRETATION.

we're but mortals. sins are but our traits.
hypocrite i'm not.
so my faith should not be a lie.
from where my beliefs hearth
i'll interpret so that i can and
i'll fathom the omnipotence.
slowly but surely..

2) POP (Portable Omnipotence Presence)
God is all around us. God with us. Emmanuel.

Matthew 1:23
Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
Is this what POP is all about?
Somehow, i believe and am very optimistic that this aspect of belief will be undoubtedly useful in our school of 21st century. where everyone zoomed past everyone. where everyone juggle 3 or more devices at one time. where hustle and bustle is the way of life.

The warmness and closeness of God or the concept of Emmanuel is comforting and convenient.
But this is where my concern lies, is God really that portable? Like my PSP. my faith. or do i have to visit a church, a place of worship to be close to God?
It makes it all really convenient doesn't it? But is this really what we want? IS God lost through this convenience?

This will be sometime bogging my mind.. hmmm.. perhaps i think too much.
DEACON: those that we can't grasp, let's leave it to when we go to heaven.. (these aren't his exact words but the meaning is there)
Really? what you don't think and leave it and bury it that your faith will answer, means that you will never fathom anything. half-baked isn't going to cut it, does it? Answerless questions may exist. the question of faith usually is one. but if we are not going to try to fathom it, no progress will ever be made, can it?

3) God is your source of courage.
CHERYL: Since God is with us (Emmanuel), there is no reason to be afraid.

Convenient isn't it? Doesn't courage come from within? Detractors may say i'm talking big here, that courage comes from within. Yes, i do believe that during times of crisis or trauma, the leap of faith and hence courage and strength many times do come from "save me God, pleaseee" or "save me, MOM!!". But true courage i wonder, doesn't it come from within? Such that no flicker of fear darts in your eyes when facing a problem. I'm not thattt courageous, but i question.
To this, i think a quote from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho really cuts the picture nicely.

"People need not fear the unknown, if they are capable of achieving what they need and want."

The Alchemist

Perhaps this is what i lack seriously in my fight. I'm a fighter. i'll seek to humbly learn and master more martial arts. But in order to seriously conquer the flicker of fear in my eyes during a sparring practice or tournie and regain the AGGRESSION that i fearlessly displayed in my attacks 6 years ago, i believe its this. If i truly am capable of achieving what i need and want. This is when determination and commitment to training kicks in. Re-teach yourself. Like Batman in KNIGHTFALL when he wore the Man Bat mask and retrain under SHIVA. I HAVE A LOT TO LEARM!!

AaaaaaaaaaaaaaH.. i feel so much more relieved after clearing my head.
What do you think? Please enlighten me with your replies.
I believe people truly learn during fruitful exchanges. Different opinions open up different outlets in my flawed interpretation.
Please, thank you.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! And thanks to Nic and Cheryl for bringing me to the church and opening up my mind.
No offence regarding the stuff i discuss here. i seek your forgiveness if you find anything insulting. thank you and MERRILY CHRISTMAS!!

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you would ever saw him,
You would even say it glows.
...

Cheryl here's your christmas carol. with dedication. MErRy CHRISTMAS!

Bye bye and Good night!